Choose Your Own Affirmation

So, I was sitting in an airport the other day thinking about how much less tedious air travel would be if it were more like one of those 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books you read as a kid. Go ahead and admit it, you loved those too. I mean, imagine stepping on the plane and being given the option of seat 16A or 23F, not knowing which choice will take you safely home and which will open up a vortex. Add a little spice to your flight.



OK, so really that's an awful idea because you know that in those books you never get home safe. The plane would always be taken over by ninjas or you'd be spirited away to another dimension by a furry purple alien who opened up that stupid vortex in 23E. It doesn't matter which because you're probably gonna end up dead either way...really, people have studied this (Map 1 , Map2) you've got something like a 29.7% chance of the story ending well...which sucks.That was the only downfall of these books. They really just taught me that I always make bad decisions and am better off cheating and skipping to page 55 if I want to make it through life.

If only there was a way to provide people with the excitement of not knowing what's next without the crushing blow of dying all the time. Well, since I don't have time to write a book i'll just let you choose your own affirmation today in the manner of CYOA:

There is a knock at the door and you open it to reveal a clown and a referee waiting on your stoop. The clown promptly challenges you to a game of rock, paper, scissors and the referee immediately starts counting down ...1...2...3...
if you choose Rock turn to link #17
if you choose Paper turn to link #32
if you choose Scissors turn to link #3
(course none of them have anything to do with the story)

Have a blessed day

Scissors

The clown plays paper...and dejectedly admits his defeat. According to the laws of the most secret underground rock, paper, scissors society he now owes you a debt and is forced to do your bidding until you release him... and he has to do it in a chicken suit.

He's in your living room right now, waiting, just type what you want him to do and he'll oblige...try it, you'll feel powerful: link

Paper

The clown throws rock...paper beats rock...you win. You are showered with thousands of celebratory puppies but the immense weight of all those aodrable furry bodies is crushing, and kills you instantly.

Hey, had to kill you in one...but it was the cutest death ever.

Your story will be written in the daily puppy... here's today's : link

Rock

Oh, sugar there's trouble now... turns out the clown challenge was only a distraction to get you out of the house so the junkies across the street can shoot at you. Fortunately you're prepared and quickly morph into a unicorn, shooting rainbows from your mystical horn...killing them with love.

You know how to do this because you have practiced playing the Magical Unicorn Rainbow Magic Game: link

Narwhals are Pretty Majestic Too

Ok, so since the affirmation that was sent out to group this week was pretty weak unless you are actually interested in the Great Gorilla Run, (in which case both the message and you are pretty righteous) i'm not going to put that one up for the public.

With the fullest knowledge that nobody will read it here's an alternate... an animated feature of the epic struggle for power between unicorns and narwhals:





Have a blessed day

this is only a test

tap, tap, tap.... tap, tap, tap... ahem, ummm... this thing on?

uhhh... here's a picture of a puppy: